Self Esteem Captain Style

Corporate HR Bright Idea

Positive self-esteem and self-image are critically important building blocks for success later in life. Children who reflect a more positive sense of themselves are typically higher achievers, are more optimistic about themselves and their future, and invariably demonstrate higher levels of competency in all areas of living. This seminar will focus on the important role parents, caregivers, and teachers play in the healthy emotional development of children. We will explore the basic needs of children from infancy through adolescence and offer concrete suggestions about ways to encourage a more positive self-image in children. Participants will learn about simple, practical things that can be done immediately that may have a far-reaching impact as their child grows and develops.

The Captain answers...

The “Corporate Benefits” release above has prompted Dr. G (the wordsmith formerly known as “The Captain”) to come out of hiding (my PO and I don’t see eye to eye sometimes) and explode the dangerous myth propagated below. Self-esteem, like the club-footed, cleft-palated, yellow-toothed, childhood playmate that lived under your bed, is an imaginary phantasm. It is a cheap trick to give false hope to the dull-witted, below average masses whose one and only way to wealth is a winning Powerball ticket. It is not self-esteem or self-image but DNA that is the undisputed building block for success later in life. A bad seed is a bad seed. Ain’t nothin you, me or all the overpriced self-help classes in the world can do about it. So save your money Average Joe and accept your place in one of the lower spheres of this world you perceive to be hell (shoot for Mediocre but don’t turn your nose up at Remedial; avoid Claim Department at all costs). You’ll be a heck of a lot happier if you did. Really.

And no need to worry your nondescript head about your role as a parent. Be comforted that you are nothing more than a conduit through which flows sub-standard genes you did not request and over which you have no control. What little influence you can achieve by influencing the environment in which you raise your offspring is more than offset by the limitations imposed on you by Mother Nature herself. And here’s the quick guide to the basic needs of children: food, shelter, water. All that other stuff, like education, culture, art, etc. is for the kids with the superior genetic makeup and not your worry.

So if I had to leave you with one practical thing you can do to have a far reaching impact on your child as he grows and develops, it would be this: teach him to accept his ordinariness, nay, celebrate it. Giving a child false hope of better things to come can only end in disappointment, chronic depression, alcoholism, hair loss, heroin addiction, suicidal thoughts, leprosy (well, maybe not leprosy), divorce, hives, suicidal actions, and, ultimately, a position with an insurance company.

Dr. G says: “There is no such thing as low self-esteem, just unrealistic expectation.”

Yours in self-importance,

Dr. G