Dear Captain,
Are weekends really made for Michelob or can I drink other types of beer on the weekend?
Dear Inquirer,
A tricky Biblical question! Thought you could hoodwink The Captain did you? Well, I can throw around irrelevant and/or invented biblical references with the best of them.
In the book of Genesis, it says something to the effect that God invented the work week; being the cost conscious CEO that he is, the Almighty supposedly commanded that we work Monday through Saturday and "rest" on Sunday. What he failed to mention is that while Adam and Eve were busy feeding all those damned animals on Saturday, he was inventing beer and having keggers in the heavenly hood with his angel posse. He even got so far as to invent the world's first premium beer - Michelob. It would be several millennia before he came up with the micro brewery, so Michelob was it back then.
Now most folks believe that humanity was banished from the Garden of Eden because Eve ate an apple from the Tree of Knowledge. Well, I have it on good information that the real reason was because Adam stole a case of Michelob from the divine fridge and got drunk with Eve. Nine months later to the day, out pop Cain and Abel!
You gotta hand it to Adam, though; he managed to rewrite history and pin the blame for original sin and all subsequent human suffering on his wife!
So to answer your question, yes, weekends really were made for Michelob, just not the way that you thought!
Yours irreverantly,
The Captain
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