Why Is It??

Why is it that:

· I always get a dirty look when, in a public place, I ask someone how his case of Herpes Simplex 1 is doing??
· I am existentially bothered by the fact the word “Gay” is no longer in my literary arsenal just because no one these days knows the original meaning of the word? I’m just dying to write a sentence like “As we celestial travelers wend our way through our temporal bonds, we flit forward with minds nimble and hearts gay!” but I can’t!
· I’m OK with the use of the word “Lesbian.” Perhaps because it has remained more or less etymologically pure, as all you armchair Philologists out there can attest (for all you armchair imbeciles, this means its meaning has not changed much over time). But the more likely answer is: because I’m a guy!!
· I even know what the frick a Philologist is in the first place??! Hint: a Philologist is someone who, due to some social maladjustment or congenital defect, is interested in knowing how and why a slang word like “frick” comes into being.
· You’re still reading this?
· People think Lucille Ball is funny but Curly is not? (For the answer to this and many other questions, see my post “Boys and Girls are Different” http://thefloorcaptain.blogspot.com/2009/06/boys-and-girls-are-differentreally.html)
· My sarcasm didn’t register, because you are still reading this??
· I write?? (That’s easy. My insurance stopped paying for my therapy, which should be obvious by now.)

Believe The Captain when he says: Desi Arnaz was a masochist!

Yours sniffing my nosegay (hah, I snuck it in!),

The Captain