In Community Theater, it is a common practice to stage an after show Q&A. After performing some cryptic post-modern one act play about the dangers of alien corn mazes, the actors sit on the front of the stage ostensibly to answer audience questions about what in hell was that all about; either that, or to allow regular patrons to pose rhetorical questions which serve no other purpose than to allow these intellectual dilettantes to publicly state their personal theories on the hidden but non-existent meaning of the play (I’m getting my Henry James on with that rambling sentence!)
In the spirit of such sharing, The Captain has graciously invited Kitty Kong, that frighteningly cute kitten from my prior post, to be part of a blog roundtable, so to speak, to ask him what it was like to be a 6 foot kitten in one of my dreams. Another first for The Captain, as I doubt very much that any writer in history has ever conducted an interview with a man sized tabby from his dreams! At first he declined, but since I own the exclusive rights to characters who appear in my dreams, I made him do it.
TC: Good morning Kitty Kong! How does one say Good Morning in Feline?
KK: Good morning.
TC: Thank you, but could you please answer the question.
KK: That was my answer. We say Good morning.
TC: Oh, right. Well, what was it like being a major player in one of my dreams?
KK: Very disconcerting, actually. You probably couldn’t see this, but from my perspective inside your dream state, I could see disturbing phantoms and hidden shadows lurking on the edge of your dream reality. Quite frankly, I felt at times as if you really aren’t clear about the distinction between fantasy and reality and that scared me. I shed some extra fur for sure.
TC: Oh Kay. We can move on…so was it difficult for a creature associated with pink ribbons and soft cuddles to play a violent murderer?
KK: Oh not at all. Most actors relish the opportunity to play a villain. It’s fun, edgy. Plus I’ve always been intrigued by risky characters. When my agent Johnny the Weasel told me there was an audition to play a serial killer in one of The Captain’s dream productions, well, I jumped - that’s pretty darn risky!
TC: Sure, but, er, you do realize that you’re just the bizarre offspring of my unstable unconscious and that there never were any interviews?
KK: Absolutely. But being a by product of your psyche, I can’t help but embellish.
TC: Seems logical. Any tricks of the trade you can share about getting into character?
KK: Just good, old fashioned homework. For this part, I wanted to observe violent animal behavior, which is problematic for a tiny, cute little kitten like me. I had to find a safe way to do it. I eventually figured out that I could sneak into the Dog Pound and parade up and down in front of the inmates to elicit the desired response. I spent hours observing, though I did need to wear a face mask to protect myself from the canine foam spittle flying around.
TC: Holy shit, that’s first rate embellishment.
KK: Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.
TC: Here’s a question I agonized over – I have to admit I’m a little afraid of what the answer might be, but I just have to know. In the dream, when I saw you kill the old lady and the two popinjays who pinched the ping pong paddles (how’s that for alliteration?), were you really killing or was that just dream special effects??
KK: Which answer will help me get another role?
TC: Damn, you are definitely one of my dream visions. OK. The truthful answer.
KK: As a manifestation of your subconscious, I’m not sure I can give a truthful answer.
TC: Arghh! I hate it when I indirectly use my psychological insights about myself against myself! Just answer the damn question Kong.
KK: Hmm. I guess I’d have to say that it was real fantasy killing. With the claws of a six foot kitten, it’s reasonable to conclude the old lady bled out after the first gash. The rest was all for dramatic effect.
TC: And very well done, I must add.
KK: Thank you.
TC: And the same is true for the burglars?
KK: Yes, but first I had to disarm them. Kittens, normally being 5 inches tall, have a natural fear of ping pong paddles. After I swatted those away, it was cake.
TC: You mentioned phantoms and shadows lurking in my head. Can you elaborate on that? I’ve tried medication, prescribed and otherwise; I’ve tried Yoga and Pilates; I’ve even tried hypnotists, but they just got frustrated because they couldn’t get me to focus long enough to get me under. I just can’t get rid of my cranial ghosts. Any insight would be most appreciated, as well as guarantee you the starring role in my dream sequel.
KK: How do I say this? Dear The Captain, I think you should consider these shadows to be your Muses – your creative inspirations. Honestly, your knack for blurring reality and fantasy is frickin’ entertaining.
TC: Wow, Kitty Kong. If it was something I was capable of, I’d be speechless right now. All those years of expensive therapy and no answers. Five minutes with a six foot dream kitten and all my problems are solved. You better get back down to the Dog Pound, you’ve got to get ready to star in tonight’s dream.
KK: Thanks The Captain!!!! Meow!!
Believe The Captain when he says: Everyone should have a 6 foot Kitten!
Yours buying Kitty Litter in bulk,
The Captain
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