Life is like…cooking a frog??
I was recently in a business meeting about creating ways to assist insurance actuaries in assessing the profitability of something called the agribusiness market. And I must say, it’s surprising what you learn at such meetings. I learned that you can buy insurance for pig birthing barns; I learned that pig birthing barns are real and not something my drunk friends made up to taunt me for working for an insurance company; I learned that Purgatory does indeed exist because I am in it; and finally, I learned a new metaphor that seemingly can be applied to nearly every facet of life: life is like cooking a frog. In the interest of fair-mindedness, I feel it necessary to mention that the attendee who shared this nifty analogy was a marketing person and not an actuary. I wouldn’t want to insult any actuaries, real or imagined, with accusations of creativity.
Apparently, it takes patience to cook a frog according to our marketing friend. You just can’t toss it into a pot of boiling water because it doesn’t fancy such a thing and jumps out. No, the proper method is to drop it gently into a pot of cool, refreshing water, and heat it slowly over a low flame, thus making the temperature change imperceptible to the unsuspecting amphibian. This lulls it into a false sense of security which must somehow scramble its sense perception because it voluntarily stays in the boiling water until it expires and becomes French culinary fare. The subtlety of the parable was initially wasted on me, however, as I responded with “why the f*&k don’t you just boil the sucker in a larger pot that it can’t jump out of?”
But with help from marketing guy, I got there eventually. He explained that taking over a nation state was just like cooking a frog. Responding to the blank stares, he said that you don’t come in guns a blazing. This makes the local frogs jump in fright and resist. Better to quietly send in spies to foment an insurrection from within over time. You destroy a state without its even knowing! Lesson learned: some things in life require time and patience, like revolutions and boiling frogs.
Amazingly, this is not the first folk fable I’ve heard involving a frog. It turns out that frogs, like the people who boil them, can teach us all a thing or two about patience and perseverance. If you’ve heard this story before, pretend you haven’t and lend me your ear. Two frogs are thrown into a large pot filled with cream. Both attempt to jump out but soon realize that the sides are too high (this is the kind of pot I’d boil a frog in, by the way. You don’t want to be known as the dumbass guy who let the frog get away.). One frog looks up the walls of the pot and despairs. Depressed and defeated, he dives into the cream and drowns. The other frog begins to swim around the pot methodically in circles with no apparent plan. As time goes by the cream begins to expand and thicken. Eventually, it is churned into butter. The frog then rests on the hard surface to recover his energy and uses it as a springboard to leap out of the pot and to freedom. Lesson learned: avoid getting your ass tossed into a giant vat of cream. If this is unavoidable, swim around and make butter. Your patience and effort will be rewarded.
As you can see, the cooking a frog analogy can be applied to any situation in life that requires patience. You might even say that boiling a frog is a virtuous act, though the frog might disagree with you. So the next time your significant other, or offspring, or neighbor is testing your patience, grab your net and head for the pond to catch a frog. Bring it home, give it a little pet, throw it in a pot of cold water and set it to simmer on the stove at the lowest setting. That way, when the source of your irritation can’t stand it any more and asks you, “what in god’s name are you doing?!” you are ready with your reply: “L
earning to live with you!“
Believe The Captain when says: if you ever find yourself stuck in a giant vat of skim milk, say your prayers.
Yours heading for the pond!
The Captain
I was recently in a business meeting about creating ways to assist insurance actuaries in assessing the profitability of something called the agribusiness market. And I must say, it’s surprising what you learn at such meetings. I learned that you can buy insurance for pig birthing barns; I learned that pig birthing barns are real and not something my drunk friends made up to taunt me for working for an insurance company; I learned that Purgatory does indeed exist because I am in it; and finally, I learned a new metaphor that seemingly can be applied to nearly every facet of life: life is like cooking a frog. In the interest of fair-mindedness, I feel it necessary to mention that the attendee who shared this nifty analogy was a marketing person and not an actuary. I wouldn’t want to insult any actuaries, real or imagined, with accusations of creativity.
Apparently, it takes patience to cook a frog according to our marketing friend. You just can’t toss it into a pot of boiling water because it doesn’t fancy such a thing and jumps out. No, the proper method is to drop it gently into a pot of cool, refreshing water, and heat it slowly over a low flame, thus making the temperature change imperceptible to the unsuspecting amphibian. This lulls it into a false sense of security which must somehow scramble its sense perception because it voluntarily stays in the boiling water until it expires and becomes French culinary fare. The subtlety of the parable was initially wasted on me, however, as I responded with “why the f*&k don’t you just boil the sucker in a larger pot that it can’t jump out of?”
But with help from marketing guy, I got there eventually. He explained that taking over a nation state was just like cooking a frog. Responding to the blank stares, he said that you don’t come in guns a blazing. This makes the local frogs jump in fright and resist. Better to quietly send in spies to foment an insurrection from within over time. You destroy a state without its even knowing! Lesson learned: some things in life require time and patience, like revolutions and boiling frogs.
Amazingly, this is not the first folk fable I’ve heard involving a frog. It turns out that frogs, like the people who boil them, can teach us all a thing or two about patience and perseverance. If you’ve heard this story before, pretend you haven’t and lend me your ear. Two frogs are thrown into a large pot filled with cream. Both attempt to jump out but soon realize that the sides are too high (this is the kind of pot I’d boil a frog in, by the way. You don’t want to be known as the dumbass guy who let the frog get away.). One frog looks up the walls of the pot and despairs. Depressed and defeated, he dives into the cream and drowns. The other frog begins to swim around the pot methodically in circles with no apparent plan. As time goes by the cream begins to expand and thicken. Eventually, it is churned into butter. The frog then rests on the hard surface to recover his energy and uses it as a springboard to leap out of the pot and to freedom. Lesson learned: avoid getting your ass tossed into a giant vat of cream. If this is unavoidable, swim around and make butter. Your patience and effort will be rewarded.
As you can see, the cooking a frog analogy can be applied to any situation in life that requires patience. You might even say that boiling a frog is a virtuous act, though the frog might disagree with you. So the next time your significant other, or offspring, or neighbor is testing your patience, grab your net and head for the pond to catch a frog. Bring it home, give it a little pet, throw it in a pot of cold water and set it to simmer on the stove at the lowest setting. That way, when the source of your irritation can’t stand it any more and asks you, “what in god’s name are you doing?!” you are ready with your reply: “L
earning to live with you!“
Believe The Captain when says: if you ever find yourself stuck in a giant vat of skim milk, say your prayers.
Yours heading for the pond!
The Captain
