Take Your Neighborhood Feral Cat to Work Day

The Captain has already blogged at length (a rather short length) on this topic. Though I have occasionally revisited some topics, it’s not something I do regularly, mostly because I’m too lazy to spend much time on any one subject. Plus, I’m altogether shallow and could really care less about the things on which I opine. I just like being opinionated for the sake of being opinionated, as my sisters never cease to remind me. But National Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day seems to inspire in me a good 30 to 45 minutes of literary pondering, a duration that dwarfs my normal attention span.

If I was honest, which I’m not, I think I’d have to admit that it’s all sour grapes; I just wish there was a corporate sponsored skip school day back in the day. But since I never had such a day, I will not suffer a bunch school aged hooligans rubbing it in my face while I plod through another dull day of drudgery in my dank, dark den of a cubicle. They should all go to school like I did, or at least learn how to really skip school like I did. But no one listens to me, and this massive social fraud will go on as planned. So what to do? What I do best, of course – instigate trouble! I propose a counter “celebration” for the same day: Take Your Neighborhood Feral Cat to Work Day.

Why feral cats? Mostly because they are cute yet wild, things that I can only dream about being. Plus, every time I see one, it looks cold, scraggly and malnourished. A day in a heated office building with free food and mind numbingly pointless activities are just what the Vet ordered. I also think it would be fun to watch the organizers chasing the kitties around and applying First Aid to the obnoxious human kids who taunt the bewildered beasts only to discover they are in fact wild animals that can bring the hurt when necessary. The other reason is that feral cats just popped into my head, eliminating the agonizing search for just the right alternative. No work was required and that felt right to me.

I’m pretty much done, since I can’t figure out where else to go with the feral cat angle, but I’m glad I wrote about them. No feral cats were harmed during the writing of this blog, a statement I can’t make about the human kids.

Believe The Captain when he says: Feral cats are cute but they bite hard, kinda like James Pattison or Edward or whatever his name is, but you didn’t hear that from me.

Yours setting out bowls of milk in the woods behind my house,

The Captain