More Jargon Juice from Myrmidon Yarbs

Captain, what is the medical term for "craw" anyway? I never quite got that during my Westerns period...

Also, creating big, complex sounding words and sentences is not solely the art of PM's. The job postings arena here at Small Cubicle Insurance Company is a great and fun read (if you're not looking for a job). Note some of the wonderful phrases used for the claim handler position (oh wait, that's "Senior Technical Specialist"... 'nuf said). Below are some of the phrases and then their meanings in normal language:

1) “Completing essential functions” (Meaning: Do your job, especially the important stuff)

2) “Strategically-appropriate contact with appropriate parties” (Meaning: Call people when you need to and don’t go to a muffler shop when you need a paint job)

3) “Actively engage” (Meaning: Don’t just sit on your butt more than you should)

4) “Direction of appropriate internal and/or external resources” (Meaning: Tell people want you need them to do)

5) “Increase the technical expertise and improve bench strength” (Meaning: Like a basketball team, a claim office needs more than 5 starters and if the bench warmers are really bad we’re gonna lose)

6) “Share accountability” (Meaning: Take others down with you)

7) “Understand, synthesize, interpret and convey, in a simplified manner, complex data and information” (Meaning: The person who wrote this FAILED!)

8) “Drive Results” (Meaning: Results has no license and may occasionally need a ride)

9) “Leads Change” (Meaning: You take the risk not upper management. Each time I lead change I getting hammered down because the higher ups hate change and anything with style)

10) “Executes Business Strategy” (Meaning: Go to upper management and tell them what you think of their business strategy. This can also be called “Execute Your Employment”)

11) “Attract Top Talent” (Meaning: Forget what HR says about sexual harassment and discrimination, employee hotties)

12) “Leading Self-Emotional Intelligence” (Meaning: I have no idea what this could possible mean)

So Captain, as you can see, the problem goes even deeper than you suggest. All the above could be replaced by “Handle claims”…