The Captain has made arguments on both sides of the timeless Nature versus Nurture debate. I’ve argued that suspect genes condemn the arbitrary recipient, if lucky, to a life of almost bearable mediocrity at best. The unlucky ones become Claims Adjusters.
Yet, a recent news story from my old neighborhood, the Dickensian streets of West Torrington, made me pause and sway back into the Nurture camp. It seems that Torrington has no need whatsoever for fiction, because the non-fictional reality there is so fantastic, so surreal, so bizarro, that one need only take a walk down the street to witness events unimagined by the likes of Salvador Dali and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. After I read this story, I searched my chemically frayed memory banks for other similarly dramatic examples from the nurturing environment that produced The Captain. No data returned; but not to worry, I simply went to the internet, where I was able to get the information I was seeking because, you see, Torrington, CT, that blue collar cesspool that only has Winsted, CT, to make fun of, has over my lifetime made national news for all the wrong reasons.
But first, the news story that prompted my stroll down memory lane. I normally just copy and paste the story and comment. But I have simply included a link to the story and the incredible string of comments that follow. If you take the time to read everything, you will never again wonder how The Captain was spawned. Just know that I grew up within walking distance of the car dealership. Here is the link Oh My God.
Now for some bullet point summaries of some of Torrington’s most memorable lowlights!
· The Tracy Thurman Story: This is the title of an honest to God real made for TV movie about a girl who was a year behind me in high school. To say that Tracy chose poorly in marriage would be an understatement. Here’s a synopsis I pulled from one of the numerous articles about this on the internet: On June 10th, 1983, Charles “Buck” Thurman assaulted Tracy for the last time. He stabbed her thirteen times in the chest, neck, shoulders, and face – ten minutes AFTER she had called the police. He kicked her in the head with a booted foot, snatched up their two-year-old, told the child, “I’ve killed your rotten mother,” and left her lying in a pool of blood. It took twenty-five minutes for the police to arrive. Astonishingly, Tracy did not die, but the damage was inconceivable. She spent seven months in the hospital. Although the left side of her body was able to function, she had no tactile sensation. The right side of her body was able to feel, but she had lost 80% of her motor skills.
At the time, Tracy lived in a 2 story house apartment that was once on my West Torrington paper route. An apocryphal story that circulated shortly after this happened has the cop, who was just weeks from retirement, taking a leak on the lawn as he listened to Tracy’s screaming pleas for help. Wouldn’t want to get injured on the job so close to retirement! Read more here: Is there a God?
· Remember the TV show “Jackass”? Well, one Torrington boy will likely never forget after mimicking the show by basically allowing his friends to douse his leg with gasoline and light it on fire. Oh what those Torringtonians will do for fun! It was even written up in the NY Times! Here’s an excerpt. In January, a 13-year-old Torrington, Conn., boy suffered second- and third-degree burns after similarly imitating a stunt in which an MTV personality set himself on fire. The boy let a friend douse his pants with gasoline and set him on fire, the police said. The friend was charged with reckless endangerment. MTV moved “Jackass” from the 9 pm timeslot to 10 pm as a result. Now that’s real power! And did I mention that this kid lived in West Torrington??
· On my walk to school down Highland Avenue, my hooligan friends and I would often stop at the Value Mart, a little variety store located on the first floor of a two story house. I knew that there was an apartment on the second floor, but little did I know that years later the future occupants would make national news. In 1999, James and Lynn Luddy, who lived above the still extant Value Mart, were arrested for trading their five month old son for back rent. The baby was handed over to the landlord’s sister – she of the barren womb - who was immediately caught when she drove with the baby straight to a consignment store to purchase a car seat for the tot. She asked the store owners to help her install the seat because she didn’t know how. When they saw the bay squirming loosely around in the back seat of the car, the store owners alerted the police and little James Luddy, Jr., was transported straight to the Torrington Department of Children and Families office (yes, Torrington has its own DCF office)!
So there you have it. There are more stories to tell – perhaps a future post? Remind me to tell you about Barella’s Tavern! But for now, these TRUE stories simply serve as supporting examples of my original point: environment is an extremely formative factor in determining the person who we grow up to be. Unfortunately for me, growing up in West Torrington turned me into The Captain!
Believe The Captain when he says: Winsted sucks!
Yours suckled by the nurturing if tainted milk of mother Torrington!
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