1. Empties the intellectual compost from my brain before the fumes expand and my brain explodes;
2. Saves me the time and trouble of thinking of a topic or theme to butcher.
So here comes the experiment, a brain dump Captain style I call “Why is it?” which allows me to patch together the divers and disparate hobgoblins of my mind, known most commonly as “random thoughts.” I think it would be fun if any of you, my readers, shared your “Why is it?” thoughts to be published as part of this series. I know many of you to be clever and funny and I encourage you to share. Just email your random thought to thefloorcaptain@gmail.com.
Why is it…
· That 9 times out of 10, the person who yells “Don’t say hello” at you from the other side of crowded room while you cover your face with your hood (or newspaper, or whopper, or decorative Chinese hand fan) is the one person you don’t want to say hello to?
· That Women can’t read my mind?
· That Women don’t even bother listening when I take time out of my busy day to verbalize the thoughts in my mind they fail to read in the first place??
· That the only time I can read a woman’s mind is when she’s thinking about a time I screwed up?
· That Ostriches can’t fly? This shouldn’t bother me but it does. Large wrecking ball body, long, oversized neck and legs, dinky little wings like you get from one of those pre-packaged Halloween fairy costumes for little girls, big goofy grin and vacant expression closely resembling the one I see in the looking glass every morning– talk about an argument against Intelligent Design!
· That fish are considered dumb while humans who hunt fish by impaling an earthworm on the end of a half inch hook and casting it randomly into hundreds of thousands of gallons of water in search of (if we’re “lucky”) 12” to 24” prey are considered intelligent? (There is a simple answer, which applies to many a human endeavor: alcohol!)
· That Old Spice aftershave didn’t die out with my father’s generation?
Why????!!!
Believe The Captain when he says: women know!
Yours practicing Occlumency,
The Captain
Why do women always know???
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